Imagine this; two good friends of 3 years nearly came into nothing because of a stupid mistake. What could have happened? Emotional intelligence would definitely be the answer.
James and Xavier were good friends in college and they had known each other since first day of school. They have been buddies ever since and kept in contact even after graduation. They would talk about anything under the sun and would usually tease each other just for fun. Both were recruited into big companies and their future looked bright.
James soon realized that working in a big company could get really stressful and competitive. However, he seldom confides in Xavier. When James was retrenched, he felt depressed and lost. He decided to meet Xavier for a drink hoping to find comfort in his friend. Instead, Xavier mocked James.
Xavier was actually worried about James but Xavier just couldn’t bring himself to display his softer side to console his buddy. To Xavier, the usual mocking and teasing was his way to cheer James. He even passed sarcastic remarks thinking that James would not be affected by it.
This angered James, who then retaliated and punched Xavier, while hurling vulgarities at him. Xavier then realised he had angered his friend. Due to pride, Xavier resisted apologizing immediately. This led to both friends not communicating, till Xavier apologized. Everything seemed alright between them. But would it assure such problems from happening again?
The problem between James and Xavier came about because; they could not handle their emotions. James found it hard to express himself and always felt pessimistic about others, while Xavier speaks without thinking. His action had unintentionally offended James.
How could this have been prevented?
How do you think James could have handled his emotions effectively?
Do you think Xavier was right to mock James of his mishap? Could he find a better method to cheer James up?
This is what could have been done:
Firstly, James should have talked to Xavier about his problems at work or sought advice from his friends. All James needed was someone to listen to him vent his frustrations.
Secondly, James should learn to control his emotions when things turn out unexpected. He should have known that he would react badly when under stress and when he’s not feeling very well. He should have stayed calm and think logically. Would violence have resolved this conflict?
Thirdly, Xavier should apologize upon realizing his mistakes. He should be responsible for his own actions. Xavier should have put himself in James’ shoes before mocking him. Would he feel good being mocked by his close buddy instead of being consoled? Would he have liked the experience of being retrenched? Xavier should think before making those comments and be responsible for what he had said. I believe that James would have forgiven Xavier should he have apologized to him right after hurting him. Likewise, James should also apologized for punching Xavier.
Lastly, Xavier should reflect on his own behavior. Was he there when his buddy needed him? Was he right to mock his buddy, James? Did he make an effort to console James? Xavier must realize that nobody’s perfect and he should have look on some areas for improvement, to make himself a better person, and friend.
In conclusion, Emotional Intelligence is actually a very important aspect in one’s success in life. By controlling our emotions and think before we act, we could minimize conflicts and attain self improvement which is essential in achieving our goals in life. It also helps us stay focused and remain hopeful during challenging times. We should know ourselves by increasing self awareness, choose ourselves by building self management and give ourselves by developing self direction.
Do feel free to give better suggestions.:)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Why is professional communication important to me?
What is communication? Communication is defined as the exchange and imparting of messages, thoughts and information. Where can communication skills are used effectively? There are a few areas where communication is very important. They are friends and families and workplace respectively.
First of all, I would like to share my personal experience regarding effective communication. I was involved in a project work group while I was pursing my ‘A’ levels in Nanyang Junior College. Ineffective communications was one of the key aspects that contributed to the poor grades we were awarded during the evaluations.
Though we know each other in class, we came from different ‘cliques’. We seldom hang out together during or after curriculum. We were made to group together for our project and we’ll only get together for the project. Because we seldom talk to each other and nobody actually tried to break the communication barrier, information on the project were not passed down effectively and efficiently. There will bind to be unclear instructions and information but nobody made an effort to clarify with each other regarding it. We’ll just leave it the way it is thinking that we have actually done our part and had contributed significantly to the project work. However what we forgot is that a lot of the work done by us is actually redundant and double work.
Communication between friends and families are a key aspect in building rapport and understanding with one another. By communicating well with friends and families, not only will you build strong bonds and gain mutual trusts, relationships with one another will definitely get stronger. Should communication fails, relationships and bonds will gradually break and start to drift away.
I believe that all of us have at least one good friend, someone whom we can trust, pour our sorrows to and share happiness with. But how did this good friend came about? It is due to months and maybe years of communication between one another. We talked to each other about anything and everything. We found out more about each other, likes and dislikes and shared a lot with one another. The same scenario applies to our family as well. Parents themselves have to be good speakers and listeners as well. They have to communicate well with their children and concurrently be good listeners so that they can understand how their children is feeling and hear what their children have to say.
Employers and employees respectively require a certain level of good communication skills in order to ensure a smooth operation and mutual working relationships. As employers themselves, delegating jobs and motivating workers to achieve desirable sales target for the company is an essential component an employer should be master at. This would all come down to nothing if not for communications skills. Employers should know their workers’ strengths and weaknesses. How do you attain this? Communicate more and get to know each other better. Delegating jobs and tasks requires the speaker to give clear and concise instructions to the listeners, who are usually the employees. This way, it reduces the risks of misunderstanding und conflicting instructions between the employers and employees. Being employees should also be good listeners. They should not interrupt when instructions or messages are passed down to them and they should wait till the speaker, who is the employer, is done with his speech before asking questions and clarify doubts instead of just interrupting the speaker. This is deemed rude and improper manner.
I also realize that I’m not a good presenter and listener myself. I tend to pace up and down during presentation and I don’t feel composed as I would like to be. My body language also says it all when I presenting. Unnecessary movement while presenting gives away my tense and nervous appearance. I’m also very long winded and I would tend to repeat myself when I’m conveying a message or thought. I would usually lose focus and not pay attention as I believe that I get distracted very easily. The slightest distraction would just pull me out of the conversation immediately. I’ll have to ask the speaker to repeat what he or she is saying as I do not get what the speaker is trying to convey.
In conclusion, I believe that effective conclusion is very important and useful to me. It is a indispensable and life long skill that can help me irregardless of where I am, in school, at work or even at home. Effective communication minimizes conflicts with one another and it also reduces lost information through communication channels. I definitely hope that my communication skills can be further improved to make me a more effective student, a more understanding daughter, a better friend and a competent employee/ employer in future.
First of all, I would like to share my personal experience regarding effective communication. I was involved in a project work group while I was pursing my ‘A’ levels in Nanyang Junior College. Ineffective communications was one of the key aspects that contributed to the poor grades we were awarded during the evaluations.
Though we know each other in class, we came from different ‘cliques’. We seldom hang out together during or after curriculum. We were made to group together for our project and we’ll only get together for the project. Because we seldom talk to each other and nobody actually tried to break the communication barrier, information on the project were not passed down effectively and efficiently. There will bind to be unclear instructions and information but nobody made an effort to clarify with each other regarding it. We’ll just leave it the way it is thinking that we have actually done our part and had contributed significantly to the project work. However what we forgot is that a lot of the work done by us is actually redundant and double work.
Communication between friends and families are a key aspect in building rapport and understanding with one another. By communicating well with friends and families, not only will you build strong bonds and gain mutual trusts, relationships with one another will definitely get stronger. Should communication fails, relationships and bonds will gradually break and start to drift away.
I believe that all of us have at least one good friend, someone whom we can trust, pour our sorrows to and share happiness with. But how did this good friend came about? It is due to months and maybe years of communication between one another. We talked to each other about anything and everything. We found out more about each other, likes and dislikes and shared a lot with one another. The same scenario applies to our family as well. Parents themselves have to be good speakers and listeners as well. They have to communicate well with their children and concurrently be good listeners so that they can understand how their children is feeling and hear what their children have to say.
Employers and employees respectively require a certain level of good communication skills in order to ensure a smooth operation and mutual working relationships. As employers themselves, delegating jobs and motivating workers to achieve desirable sales target for the company is an essential component an employer should be master at. This would all come down to nothing if not for communications skills. Employers should know their workers’ strengths and weaknesses. How do you attain this? Communicate more and get to know each other better. Delegating jobs and tasks requires the speaker to give clear and concise instructions to the listeners, who are usually the employees. This way, it reduces the risks of misunderstanding und conflicting instructions between the employers and employees. Being employees should also be good listeners. They should not interrupt when instructions or messages are passed down to them and they should wait till the speaker, who is the employer, is done with his speech before asking questions and clarify doubts instead of just interrupting the speaker. This is deemed rude and improper manner.
I also realize that I’m not a good presenter and listener myself. I tend to pace up and down during presentation and I don’t feel composed as I would like to be. My body language also says it all when I presenting. Unnecessary movement while presenting gives away my tense and nervous appearance. I’m also very long winded and I would tend to repeat myself when I’m conveying a message or thought. I would usually lose focus and not pay attention as I believe that I get distracted very easily. The slightest distraction would just pull me out of the conversation immediately. I’ll have to ask the speaker to repeat what he or she is saying as I do not get what the speaker is trying to convey.
In conclusion, I believe that effective conclusion is very important and useful to me. It is a indispensable and life long skill that can help me irregardless of where I am, in school, at work or even at home. Effective communication minimizes conflicts with one another and it also reduces lost information through communication channels. I definitely hope that my communication skills can be further improved to make me a more effective student, a more understanding daughter, a better friend and a competent employee/ employer in future.
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